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[24 Apr 2006|10:20pm]

Body: Please Read and pass this around as my best friend shares with you her story. Many of you know these 2 people but however they will not be named. We do not want this to happen to another person in our town or anywhere else, weather its one of your family members, friends or even you.

As scarey and upsetting as it is to share this story with everyone i find that i'm left with no other choice. On Saturday April 15th someone whom at the time i believed was a good friend of mine had asked me to hang out. I was leaving for poughkeepsie in the morning, to move back home with my cousin, and since i had not seen this "friend" in a long time i decided to meet up with him. We have known eachother for almost six years and grew to be close. We talked about our lives, our hopes and dreams, and we always had a good time together. When he picked me up in front of Johnny Ritz Bar saturday evening around eight o'clock we had driven to Charles Point. He told me to reach under my seat where i found a bottle of taquila. We then started walking down to where the dock was and heard loud voices. This is when my so called "friend" decided we should leave. After driving around for about five minutes we ended up in coachlight park, where we grabbed the alcohol and walked down to the dock. Sitting on the dock we started conversing about how our lives have changed, about our old and new friends, our boyfriends and girlfriends, our outlooks on life, and things we'd wish to accomplish. Within the conversation my friend mentioned he needed his cell phone that he had left in the car, so i offered to walk up the hill and get it for him. After my return he called his older brother to let him know that we were drinking and we were both alright. This "friend" of mine opend the bottle of taquila which had already been opend but seemed to be full. He then passed it to me and i started to drink. Still conversing we continued to pass the bottle back and forth however my "friend" only had two sips, if he even drank that, and kept handing the bottle back to me. Believing it was all in fun i still drank the alcohol. My "friend", claiming he was sick, however, did not touch the bottle for the rest of the night. After about a half an hour to fourty five minutes i needed to go to the bathroom. While standing up i started to feel a little dizzy and then told my "friend" i could not sit on the dock anymore due to a fear of falling in the water. We had walked over to the land and i went to the bathroom in the woods. When i got back we sat down in a boat tied up to a tree. Still talking about our lives i had one last large amount of the taquila. With the bottle having less than one forth of alcohol in it, i then blacked out. The alcohol had finally cought up to me. The next thing i remember is waking up in the hospital. Still not completley sober i began talking to my family and close friends. I somehow believed that i might actually be better off not remembering. My "friend" whom i had been previously drinking with met my friends and my cousin Jackie, katie, and mark at the front of Coachlight. I was then told i stumbled over to the car with only one shoe and my pants inside out and covered in mudd. I was also told that my friend Jackie had to pick me up and place me in the back seat of her vehicle and this other "freind" of mine spead off. They were telling me how i was frantically crying "I didn't want to! No I didn't want to!" My friends, trying to calm me down and sober me up, brought me to my cousin Mark's house. Upon arrival i was told while still excited that i needed to got to the bathroom again. Outside of Mark's house, next to Jackie's car is where i began urinating and hysterically crying "It burns!. It burns!" My friends had then decided it was time to take me to the hospital. On the way i was screaming that i couldn't see , my eyes were rolling in the back of my head, and i kept losing my breath and passing out. Struggeling to keep me awake jackie carried me toward the hospital until a man with a wheelchair met up with her. After being wheeled into the hospital a nurse undressed me and noticed that my underwhere were missing, there was seman on my chest, red marks on my arm and a hickey on the left side of my neck. She then put a hospital gown on me and placed me in the hospital bed. I continued frantically crying and passing out. My heart kept stopping. I was also told i was waiting for quite a time to be treated because the dodctors refused to treat me until my parents arrived due to the fact that i'm a minor. They took blood and sent it out to get the results for my blood alcohol content. Shortly afterward i had fallen asleep. When i woke up i had gotten a rape kit done and my friend katie provided me with clothing. Being in an immence amount of pain i was still crying and trying to stay strong. While sobering up, however still intoxicated a detective and a police officer began speaking to me. I still don't understand why they would talk to me while i was in that state. I vaigly remember both of them, however i can't recall what was said. Sunday morning i was told i could leave the hospital at around seven thirty. My mother was driving me to her house while i uncomfortably tried to situate myself. Almost arriving home my ear began leaking yellow liquid with white chunks mixed in. I began crying even more due to this unbearable pain. i finally got home and forced myself to sleep. Waking up early that afternoon my entire body was sore. My cheek and jaw were hurting, my ear continued leaking also with blood this time, i was having excrutiating vaginal pain, my right calf was irritated, my right sholder blade and sholder were extremley sore, i had bruses on my left arm and there was a lot of tenderness almost everywhere. I also suffer from extremley bad back pain and my left hip has been clicking on and off since the incident. From Monday until late Wednesday night the pain was severe. The vaginal pain was the worst. It was to the point where i was uncontrolably shaking and i could not stop crying. Walking, standing, sitting, even laying down was a problem. As all of the other pain seemed to go away quickly, that was the most horrible pain i have experienced and those were indeed the longest four days of my life. The tossing and turning at night and the horrible dreams will be hard to forget. My ear had blood comming out of it as well as yellow and green liquid. To this day i still have vaginal pain and problems with my ear on and off. I realize it has only been a week at this point in time, however the pain remains and as the physical pain may go away the mental and emotional pain will be with me forever. The Thursday that has just passed, the 20th of April, I had an appointment to speak with the detective that i had previously spoken to in the hospital. My mother and father and i arrived at around two o'clock in the afternoon. We went in and the detective started explaining the side of the story told by the person i was with that night. He stated that it was very convincing due to the fact that this kid new a lot about me. Things such as, the shoes i happend to be wearing that night were my favorite shoes and details about my ex-boyfriend. I tried to expain to him that at the time i believed this person and i were friends and he had known a lot about me, we were discussing these very subjects before engaging in drinking. He, however, replied that our stories were identicle up until the point where i had blacked out. Saying that afterward this person told him i was speaking endlessley about my ex and asked him to give me hickeys also claiming that i completley threw myself at him and told him to be intimate with me. My mother and i dissagreed and tried to talk to the detective, however it didn't seem to make much of an impression. I treid to explain to him that i'm not that type of person, telling him that anyone who know's me know's that. No i was not a vergin when this happend but i had only been intimate with one person, my ex, and that was out of love after six months of our relationship. I also explained that the vaginal pain was worse than that of when i lost my verginity, nothing has ever hurt that bad. He claimed that because the rape kit did not show any cuts or tears it can then not be determined as rape. I also explained to him that i rarely ever even kiss a guy unless we're together for a while. Especially if it's someone that i am not physically, mentally, or emotionally attracted to. I had no attraction to this "friend", not the slightes bit. I also explained to him that i have morals whether i'm drunk or sober that never changes. Not having influinced the detective i became upset and left the room. When i returned my father asked if my friend would at least be charged with posetion of alcohol, giving alcohol to a minor, having intercorse with a minor, and driving under the influence. Apparently he wasn't driving under the influence and apparently he wasn't being faced with any of those charges. We were then told that giving alcohol to a minor is not illegal if you stay and drink with them. We were told that because he didn't force me to drink it, i had willingly done it so there was nothing they could do. Also telling us that he will not be charged for having sex with a minor, first of all because i was contious, and second of all because at sixteen in New York he claimes i'm considered an adult. After hearing these ludicris comments, i became infuriated. I replied, "because i was contious! how does that make since? If i was uncontious it would be rape but i was contious and had no idea what was going on and it's not rape. You weren't there how would you know if i was even contious when this happend, my friends said i kept passing out, and screaming i didnt want to doesn't that account for anything? And sixteen is not an adult, if i had sex with a twenty year old right now he would be arrested for stagitory rape." The detective said we were wrong that is not rape if you are sixteen because you are then an adult. I decided not to argue with him, knowing he was wrong, and let him continue talking. So my "friends" story is that we were hanging out we sat down and i asked him to give me hickies, i had also asked him if he had a profalactic and asked him to have intersorse with me on the hill, also claiming that i knew it would happen when i went down there. My mother said something for the first time of being in the room with the detective. She told the detective that she was not a stupid woman, that this kid has done this before and he's just going to get away with it again. Telling the detective what she believes happend to me. Saying that she believes he put something in the bottle i was drinking out of, which had already been opend, dragged me up the hill and that's how i got the lines of mudd on my pants and lost my shoes, that he maybe grabbed my left arm and hit me in the right side of the face, explaining the bruses on my arm and the soreness in my jaw and damage done to my ear, and that he then got intimate with me, finished on my chest, and put my pants on me insilde out and backward with no underwear and one shoe because he was in a rush, because my real freinds were on there way to get me. I will not say this story is true, because i don't remember, however it does explain how a lot of things could've happend. My mother, extremley upset, left the room, telling the detective that he can not believe everything that this "friend" tells him. My father stayed and finished the conversaiton ending with court and law books. We were discussing the fact that this "freind" has done this twice before and gotten away with it both times. The detective told us that we can have the other two girls that this had happend to come to court and explain there stories, but also stated that it would most likely not be effective because we would have no evidence. Due to the fact that these rapes were conducted over six months ago, a rape kit would, therefore, not be of any use. Another thing we discussed was my blood alcohol content, which had been one hundred and fifty three. The detective himself said that is three times of what an intoxicated adult should be, and yet can still believe my "friend" when he claims i was contious and aware of everything that was going on. If it wasn't for my friends, my real freinds, i woul've never known. I would've woken up with hickeys, bruses, and an extremley sore body and a very slight idea of the truth. I never would have thought that someone i had known for such a long time and trusted so much would ever do somehting like that. I only drink with certain people, people i hoestly trust, and i can't believe what happend, but i can honestly say that i am done drinking. After leaving the police department i was extremley upset, I could not even begin to fathem why this detective and these police officers would not help me. My parents said they would take things over they're head and hopefully it helps. However, i just don't understand how the police force and this detective will just let this go. Not only do i not understand how a "friend" being completley sober can take advantage of someone who trusted them and had no idea what was going on, but i don't understand how they can get away with it. How can the people we expect to protect us not even attempt to help me. I was told to stay quiet not to tell anyone about this inncident exept for the few loved ones that were at the hospital when it happend. But i can't do that. What if this didn't happen to me? What if it happend to the daughter of a judge, a detective, or a police officer? Would it be justified? You better believe it, we all know they wouldn't rest until the person responsible was behind bars. This story actually gets worse, a close friend of mine like a brother to me was arrested eary friday night. While i do not agree with what he said i do believe that his piont was effective. He was arrested due to the fact that he called this person who had done this to me and explained to him that if the cops would not do anything about what he had done to me than he would. On the messade he left he also said how would the detective feel if he raped his wife. While this was not a very smart thing to do it does so prove how unlawfull our law truelt is. Because he said this about a detectives wife he now faces 6 months to a year in jail without seeing his two year old daughter unless we can pay the 25,000 bail. Because he mentioned a detectives wife getting raped he was arrested, howecer i was raped and this kid was not arrested! Where is the justice in that. What if it was your daughter, your sister, your cousin, your niece, your aunt, your mom, your friend, your girlfreind or even you? Would you just let it go? I don't suppose you would and i can't either. I can"t let it go because it was done twice before me and i would never be able to live with myself if it occured after me. To everyone in this area i have one thing to say, thank you for your time, and be careful who you trust because just when you least expect for something to happen to you it can. And just when you expect people to be there for you and try to help you, they don't.
1 ! hEs EvEn kIndA cRaZy bOuT mY fARmERs tAn

[12 Sep 2005|10:29pm]

Every memory of walking out the front door
I found the photo of me and you that I was looking for
It's hard to say it, time to say it
Goodbye, goodbye"

dad-> its too late..
1 ! hEs EvEn kIndA cRaZy bOuT mY fARmERs tAn

ookay so im bored.. while my pictures update.. [01 May 2005|11:31pm]
okay so my pictures are updating and im bored..Collapse )
5 ! hEs EvEn kIndA cRaZy bOuT mY fARmERs tAn

[20 Jun 2004|01:00am]
26 ! hEs EvEn kIndA cRaZy bOuT mY fARmERs tAn

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